Once upon a time, I went to college with one of the Friends.
David Schwimmer graduated from Northwestern a year after me, but I never got to know him while we were there. I sure did enjoy his work on the show though.
Friends was like comfort food: warm, familiar, savory/sweet/spicy and… well… comforting. (With a heaping side of good humor.)
It’s odd when you find yourself thinking a lot about someone who’s a perfect stranger. But the past few days, my thoughts have turned to David (and the rest of the Friends cast) often. I felt a sharp pang of sadness when I heard about Matthew Perry’s death. Of course I didn’t know him either. But somehow, I’m convinced that if I did, we’d be…
Friends.
(In real life.)
His portrayal of Chandler Bing was understated brilliance. He crafted a character that was at once gruff and gentle, snarky and kindly, wickedly funny and fiercely loyal. I know this is debatable but I always thought Chandler was the glue of that gang.
I haven’t read his memoir yet, but I’ve heard a few excerpts that illuminate some dark corners of Matthew Perry’s life. In Friends, Lovers and the Big, Terrible Thing, he wrote a painfully honest account of his struggle to get clean… and his desperate cry for help:
‘God, please help me,’ I whispered. ‘Show me that you are here. God, please help me.’
As I kneeled, the light slowly began to get bigger, and bigger, until it was so big that it encompassed the entire room…What was happening? And why was I starting to feel better?
He continued:
I started to cry. I mean, I really started to cry – that shoulder-shaking kind of uncontrollable weeping. I wasn’t crying because I was sad. I was crying because for the first time in my life, I felt OK. I felt safe, taken care of. Decades of struggling with God, and wrestling with life, and sadness, all was being washed away, like a river of pain gone into oblivion.
I had been in the presence of God. I was certain of it. And this time I had prayed for the right thing: help.
Eventually the weeping subsided. But everything was different now… I stayed sober for two years based solely on that moment. God had shown me a sliver of what life could be. He’d saved me that day. And for all days. No matter what. He had turned me into a seeker. Not only of sobriety, and truth, but also of Him.
I don’t know what transpired between that moment of salvation and this past weekend. But from the time I heard about his battle with addiction, I was pulling for him.
And while I have no idea how or why Matthew Perry died Saturday (and no desire to speculate), I do know this. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Matthew didn’t die alone.
Because God was with him.
And now, I daresay, he is with God.
They’re together.
For all days.
The best of friends.
… Now you are my friends, proved by the fact that I have told you everything the Father told me. ~ John 15:15 (TLB)
Those are the words of Jesus, spoken to a rag-tag bunch of guys he’d invited to become his friends.
I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. ~ John 15:11-13 (MSG)
That’s what Jesus did. He put his life on the line for us. And he did it so we could be forgiven and free… so we could be friends forever.
That beautiful invitation of friendship with God? He extends it to you and me too. So what do you say?
Want to be friends with God?
Just ask.
John Eldredge writes:
The Christian faith is at its center an invitation to intimacy with God. He is an actual person, with a personality and a heart… and just as in any other relationship, it is the connection of these two hearts that matters above all else. This is where you separate from religion, and this is what will rescue you from slipping back into it. Friendship with God is the heartbeat of it all; nothing else can substitute (though many things will try)...
Becoming friends with God is what you were made for. It’s the moment of salvation and the meaning of life. It’s the only sure thing in this world.
The truth is, at one time or another, all our other friends will leave us or fail us somehow.
Jesus never will.
He’s the best of friends… for all days. No matter what.
He’ll be there for you.
Wendy
P.S. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, find online resources and support at Celebrate Recovery.
Wendy with a Why 