Fetal Matter

It’s getting ugly out there.

Everywhere, to be exact.

(Especially Texas.)

The Lone Star State is the current epicenter of the clashes between abortion rights advocates and their opponents. There’s a great divide, a battleground between, and an inevitably bloody outcome.

No doubt, there’s a lot at stake. People’s lives, for instance.

Their futures.

This is a defining moment in the history of American law and liberties.

And these are matters of life and death.

I’ve made no secret of my view that life begins at… well… the beginning. Conception. And my presupposition that every life is sacred. (I’ve written about those deeply-held beliefs time and again.) That being said, I’m acutely aware that my convictions about the inestimable value of life (in utero and out) crash head-on into others’ convictions about freedom and civil liberties.

And that’s where so many of us tend to resort to incendiary rhetoric rather than reasonable discussion. Why do we do that?

I’m not afraid of the hard questions. Ask away. I’ll try to answer as forthrightly as I can. But the truth is… I don’t have all the answers.

(Neither do you, by the way.)

People on both sides of this issue purport to “know better” than the other. They argue the legal/moral/medical/ethical/ political/philosophical/ physiological/societal angles. And neither side seems capable of persuading the other to make even the slightest shift in perspective or position.

Here’s my take…

Though some would argue, I see a whole lot of hypocrites in both camps. I read one woman’s comment that her abortion “was the best decision I have ever made. Both for me, and for the baby…” Huh? Then there’s the lawmakers who want to ban abortion but refuse to ban assault weapons or abolish the death penalty. Because…why?

I don’t summarily dismiss the harrowing realities and heartwrenching complexities that surround this issue and so many of these so-called choices. But I fear that some people – on both sides of the fierce debate – are fighting for the wrong reasons.

Or perhaps… against the wrong enemy.

(Surely the “enemy” isn’t an 11-year-old rape victim. Don’t go there. For the love of God, please don’t.)

In the public arena, my opinion isn’t worth much. (Two cents at best.) But I am female. And I’ve had my fair share of ultrasounds… and an unplanned pregnancy (or two). For me, there was no consideration of terminating those pregnancies. (I answer to the Author of life.) And in my case, my “choice” to carry my children to term was a simple, joyful one. I was happily married to my partner, finished with my education, financially stable and looking forward to growing our family. I realize all of the above are luxuries many don’t have.

While I think most of us can agree that it’s better to prevent an unwanted pregnancy than terminate one, I hope we can also agree that in cases of unplanned pregnancies, all women ought to have access to full and unbiased information from medical and mental health professionals, including – always – an ultrasound and gestational development resources, adoption placement options, and information about abortion risks which – according to the Planned Parenthood website – include blood clot(s), hemorrhaging, infection, injury to cervix/uterus/other organs, residual fetal matter left in the uterus… or continued pregnancy/fetal survival.

Also…

In extremely rare cases, some complications can be very serious or even life-threatening.

(And while the PP site doesn’t make mention of this, both Psychology Today and Medical News Today have published articles on the psychological after-effects of abortion.)

Despite the risks and complications, nearly 2800 times a day women choose a “medical procedure” (which depending upon gestation and method will chemically and/or surgically drug/dismember/expel a fetus) to end a pregnancy. In some cases because that child is… inconvenient.

In the words of Mother Theresa, “It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.”

But let’s get back to the case of the 11-year-old pregnant rape victim.

How do we respond? Start here: Arrest and prosecute the hell out of the attacker. (Demand a punishment that fits the crime. Isn’t that what the word “justice” means, for heaven’s sake?) But obviously that’s about him, not her.

What about her?

First, she – like all victims of violent crime – needs protection, provision, proper medical and mental healthcare, so she can attempt to survive, recover and rebuild her life.

Second, she deserves our (collective, compassionate) support and prayers.

Period.

As for the unborn human being that results (in an estimated 5% of cases when the victim is of reproductive age), I simply ask this:

Is that tiny human responsible for the heinous crime against its mother?

Of course not.

(Would we prosecute a 7-year-old victim of sex trafficking for prostitution?)

So… it comes down this…

If you believe life begins at conception, it’s a human life. If you don’t, then let’s just agree to disagree, rather than ranting/riling/reviling all the day long.

I don’t deny it seems hellish to ask the traumatized junior high girl to carry that baby to term. And unlike some on my side of the issue, I won’t stand in judgement of that victim, her parents, her doctor or her trauma specialist if she aborts… even though I maintain that her choice would make her unborn child a victim too. (So many people have opinions about what they would or wouldn’t think or do in a given situation. But I have no clue what it would be like… for myself… or my daughter. And I pray I never do.)

I try to let God do the judging. (He’s far better at it.)

He’s better at mercy too.

Obviously, there’s a lot to grapple with in this horrific scenario. But I don’t get this at all: Sentencing guidelines in some states would jail the abortion provider for up to 99 years and the rapist for 10 to 20. (One obviously intends to harm. The other is presumably trying to provide emergency medical care for a traumatized 11-year-old rape victim.)

Also for the record, I don’t think “pro-life” means only protecting the unborn. It means acknowledging the intrinsic value of (and advocating for) every life… womb to tomb… and helping to care for as many as I can. Pro-life doesn’t just mean the unborn. It means the needy/neglected/troubled/trafficked/ hungry/homeless. It means advocating for victims of injustice and immigrants. It means caring for the abused, oppressed, imprisoned, institutionalized. It means serving the rejected and the unprotected – no matter who they are and where they came from. And for the record… I oppose lethal injections of any kind. As penalty for heinous crimes… or means of assisted suicide. Because it’s a slippery slope. I just don’t think mere mortals (who are occasionally – or often – mistaken) ought to be making those calls.

I have little doubt that the abortion debate is going to get louder and more contentious. And the firestorm will likely end up right back where it began:

The U.S. Supreme Court.

(Roe v. Wade: Take 2.)

I’m quite certain that before, during and after those nine justices hear arguments, the two sides will continue to fight (on the streets, outside the clinics, in the courts) all day every day… and at the end of the day, very few people are going to change their view.

If only we believed that we don’t have to scream and scoff and slander to be heard.

(And really, does it accomplish anything at all?)

I’m not a lawyer, lawmaker, gynecologist or public health expert. So I have very little say in where this debate will go or what the end result will be. There’s really only one thing I can do that will make one whit of difference.

Three things, actually.

Pray. 

Because prayer can change things.

Vote.

Because my vote gives voice to my convictions.

Love.

Because loving my neighbor is the bravest and best thing I can do in all of this.

And by “neighbor” I mean anyone and everyone, whether we happen to agree or not. (God and Mr. Rogers said so.)

Love the unborn. Love their moms.

Love their dads – devoted or deadbeat.

Love the doctors – the ones delivering babies and the ones performing abortions.

Love the lawyers, legislators, lobbyists, journalists and justices on both sides of this issue.

Love the friends posting provocative, politically-charged memes on their social media. (< I’ve got lots. And I adore them… Our differences of opinion have no bearing on that.)

Love the women who celebrate their abortion decisions… and those who regret them.

Love the person whose rhetoric perplexes/perturbs/inflames/infuriates you.

If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that… 

“I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.” (Luke 6:32-38, The Message)

In this hard, hurtful, hate-fueled fight, love is the antidote.

And the answer.

Wendy

P.S. Planned or unplanned, biological or bonus, Steve and I always say our five kids are the best thing that’s ever happened to us. Sometimes the things we don’t plan… turn out to be the biggest blessings.